Aleksandr Vampilov: Farewell in June

In a big dorm room, all the beds are taken out, the tables are put together. A wedding reception. Bukin and Masha (bride and groom), Frolov. Among the guests, the most unselfconscious is Bukin’s buddy – a guy nicknamed Gomyra. For our convenience, let’s label the rest of the guests at the table as follows: ASB President, Fun-loving Guy, Geek, Hot Girl. The fun is at its highest.
ASB President: Comrades! Attention, please! Comrades!
Gomyra (interrupting): I want the floor! (gets up) Quiet! I would like to say a couple words…
Bukin (encouraging): Come on, Borya, nail it.
Gomyra: Hold on, Vasya, hold on… Today, in this room, my friend and geologist Vasya Bukin is trying on the role of a groom and a man in love. What have I to say to that? Vasya is the kind of a guy who would chase his dream, he’ll accomplish his goals fair and square. No dirty tricks. He’s not capable of it… I don’t see the reason for these smirks. I’ve been with Vasya to all possible expeditions, and I can tell the best what kind Vasya is. He never hid behind others’ backs and let his friends down. When I am saying this, I mean: if he ever gets stuck in this charade, he should know… (addressing Bukin) Anyway, if anything happens, you should know that you've got your best friend, who will never abandon you. I am done.
Masha. Wait a second. I don’t get it. Can you please be more specific?
Bukin: Masha, it’s clear. He wants to drink for friendship. Right, Borya?
Gomyra: That’s right, Vasya, you get me.
Geek: To friendship.
(Everyone but Masha and Frolov drink)
Gomyra (to Frolov): And you?.. Why aren’t you drinking? (to Bukin) Vasya, why is he not drinking?
Bukin: Relax. He will.
ASB President: Comrades! Attention, please!
Geek (interrupts): Toast again? We can’t go that fast. We’ve just had one, and here you go again: we need to eat something.
Masha: Exactly. Boys, eat something, or you’ll get plastered.
Fun-loving Guy: Why, let’s sing, guys! I think it’s right about time. Something special...
ASB President (struggling through): Guys! Listen to me, guys! Today is a very happy day. Just think: the biology department has 18 girls in the senior class, and – can you believe it? – 11 are already married. Today we are giving Masha away – she is number 12 – don’t you think that’s an achievement? Look at the chemistry department – they are so far behind. From all the girls of our class I wish the newly-weds all the best. And one more thing: Bukin should respect her as much as she was respected by her peers. Masha, let me kiss you!
(ASB President and Masha kiss each other)
Gomyra (grabs a wine bottle, staring at it): “Abrau Durso”… good stuff…
ASB President: And the last, but not the least, comrades! A surprise for the newly-weds! As a wedding gift, our committee and the trade union granted our newly-weds a separate room in the dorm! Just for them!
(Cheers, rattling of glasses, Bukin and Masha kiss.)


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