In a big dorm room, all the beds are taken out, the tables are put together. A wedding reception. Bukin and Masha (bride and groom), Frolov. Among the guests, the most unselfconscious is Bukin’s buddy – a guy nicknamed Gomyra. For our convenience, let’s label the rest of the guests at the table as follows: ASB President, Fun-loving Guy, Geek, Hot Girl. The fun is at its highest.
ASB President: Comrades! Attention, please! Comrades!
Gomyra (interrupting): I want the floor! (gets up) Quiet! I would like to say a couple words…
Bukin (encouraging): Come on, Borya, nail it.
Gomyra: Hold on, Vasya, hold on… Today, in this room, my friend and geologist Vasya Bukin is trying on the role of a groom and a man in love. What have I to say to that? Vasya is the kind of a guy who would chase his dream, he’ll accomplish his goals fair and square. No dirty tricks. He’s not capable of it… I don’t see the reason for these smirks. I’ve been with Vasya to all possible expeditions, and I can tell the best what kind Vasya is. He never hid behind others’ backs and let his friends down. When I am saying this, I mean: if he ever gets stuck in this charade, he should know… (addressing Bukin) Anyway, if anything happens, you should know that you've got your best friend, who will never abandon you. I am done.
Masha. Wait a second. I don’t get it. Can you please be more specific?
Bukin: Masha, it’s clear. He wants to drink for friendship. Right, Borya?
Gomyra: That’s right, Vasya, you get me.
Geek: To friendship.
(Everyone but Masha and Frolov drink)
Gomyra (to Frolov): And you?.. Why aren’t you drinking? (to Bukin) Vasya, why is he not drinking?
Bukin: Relax. He will.
ASB President: Comrades! Attention, please!
Geek (interrupts): Toast again? We can’t go that fast. We’ve just had one, and here you go again: we need to eat something.
Masha: Exactly. Boys, eat something, or you’ll get plastered.
Fun-loving Guy: Why, let’s sing, guys! I think it’s right about time. Something special...
ASB President (struggling through): Guys! Listen to me, guys! Today is a very happy day. Just think: the biology department has 18 girls in the senior class, and – can you believe it? – 11 are already married. Today we are giving Masha away – she is number 12 – don’t you think that’s an achievement? Look at the chemistry department – they are so far behind. From all the girls of our class I wish the newly-weds all the best. And one more thing: Bukin should respect her as much as she was respected by her peers. Masha, let me kiss you!
(ASB President and Masha kiss each other)
(ASB President and Masha kiss each other)
Gomyra (grabs a wine bottle, staring at it): “Abrau Durso”… good stuff…
ASB President: And the last, but not the least, comrades! A surprise for the newly-weds! As a wedding gift, our committee and the trade union granted our newly-weds a separate room in the dorm! Just for them!
(Cheers, rattling of glasses, Bukin and Masha kiss.)
No comments:
Post a Comment